Issue 4 ~ August 8, 2007
Faust Leaves The Temple!
Respected Temple member Faust Z took his leave of the Temple of Kraden on July 31, 2007. He made a final post in the Snack Bar topic and made a commemorative topic in the Introductions forum where he explained his reasons for leaving and said his goodbyes to his friends. Then, at 10:34 PM, he sent a message to Dracobolt, asking her to delete his account. Against her wishes, Dracobolt did so, and Faust was gone.
In his topic, Faust explained that, despite loving the Temple and his friends here, he felt a wrongness in his life that seemed to come from the internet, and that it was affecting his offline relationships and school. He talked about Mamsaac’s account suicide and how this inspired him to take this final step. Faust mentioned Dracobolt, Werebarret, Asphyxiate, and, of course, Vaèscent in his goodbyes. Then Zoorti said a special goodbye to Felix, his ninja brother. Finally, Faust and Zoorti gave a cry of “AZUUUUUUUUL!”
Mercury - Taking over the world for your enjoyment?
Contributed by Demon F0rce
On August 2, 2007, this reporter goes to the leader of Mercury, to ask about Mercury and their little schemes. For a while now, as most of you should know, Mercury has been planning to take over the world. This plan was schemed by Dracobolt, who is also the manager of the Snack Bar. I asked her about if it was true that she threatens people to join Mercury. “Well, threatening is such a harsh word” she says. “Just because we offer them protection doesn’t mean we’re trying to force them”. I also confronted her about Nuclear weapons in the Snack Bar’s possession. “Well, it’s only a rumor,” she replied, “and I assure you that there are no Nuclear weapons in the Snack Bar’s basement”. I decided to then go talk to a Kradenette on this matter. “Well, I don’t think I would like it to terribly much, but I’d be able to stand it. Of course, they have a long way to go before THAT happens.” Making sure it knew of the weaponry, it answered it knew. This reporter also asked a great Man of mars also. He answered, “The Mercury Clan can collectively suck my dick. Because it’s my world to dominate.” Taking a different turn, this reporter talks to the lady “Diddy”. She answer’s to the reporter, “They don’t deserve it. They’re not good enough. Venus is in control of the world. So quite obviously it should be ruled by it”. Finally turning back to Dracobolt, she state’s that “Anyone could gather an army and fight. The mercury clan is looking for more lower-key methods.” Unfortunately Draco could not tell me more so I leave on one note; Watch your children and always be ready. The Mercury clan could jump up out of no where and all of a sudden the land could be filled with Mercury’s lake.
Fall of Mars: Behind the Bio
An interview with Lachesis
“I'll be honest,” says resident It, Lachesis. “I originally hadn't planned to join FoM. But, after enough talk had gone on about it around me, I caved in. Willingly. Not much else to say on that.
“I made Melanthios pretty much as I made Annis for Q4C, though she's obviously different, primarily in being FEMALE. She's cold, calculating, and back-stabby. Hopefully, she'll have an opportunity to BE back-stabby before the year is over.. I've read how slowly these things can move...”
Dear Mister Advice Guy
Daer, Mr. advise guy,
when will some new people join a site when I tryed everything to adversite it.
~ Friend of the Little Bunny
Dear Little Bunny Poo-Poo's buddy,
I have a quest for you. If you complete it, people will flock to your forum like crazy. Do be warned, however, that only the pure of heart can undergo this quest... so if you've been posting here for longer than--call it a month--it probably won't work. But don't let that stop you from trying!
First, read a dictionary from cover to cover. I recommend Merriam-Webster. This actually doesn't have anything to do with the quest, but it'll help your spelling!
Next, gather the eleven Gems of Ultimate Control, which were scattered to the winds since the dawn of time. I think one of them might be in Dick Cheney's sock drawer. Don't ask how I knew that. Once you have found the Gems, place them inside a mauve baseball cap and chant the following: "Unga mumba weeifuv wouzzi gnamppe a'eurn siipwr aaoprmv," then immediately spell out the name of your forum's URL. Spelling is important: if you leave out the http:// bit, or transpose letters, the Gems will turn you into a newt. And no, there will be no chance of getting better.
If that ritual succeeds, then members should flock to your forum like mad. If it fails, well... newts don't have to worry about much. But remember, I never told you about this.
--Mr. Advice Guy