Issue 5 ~ August 13, 2007
Spellaís Secret Plan
Amy Lynn says:
Theodore Bumsnuggle Visits Chat
On Sunday evening, Theodore Q. Bumsnuggle visited the chat room. He came to peddle his line of male pregnancy aids. "May I interest you in a time-traveling impregnation device?" asked Mister Bumsnuggle. "Make Abraham Lincoln pregnant and alter history!" He explained that he was desperate to sell his products because "when I stop being stoned, all my products are stolen." Jackal made it clear that he was not interested, and sadly Infinity Plus One was not present.
Among Mister Bumsnuggle's other products were the DNA Retrieval Capsule. This product allows a man to impregnate himself with a woman's DNA from up to 2000 metres away. He also spoke of his Turbo-Abort system and his Anal Defender, which "protects your bum from all manner of filthy perverts" and "uses only a little gasoline and some cyanide."
Theodore Q. Bumsnuggle's visit proved to be unfruitful in the ends, with all his products ending up stolen. Quoth Mister Bumsnuggle, "Why do the little gnomes have such a great need for mint-scented contraceptives...?"
Ian vs. Lachesis!
Contributed by Ian
The battle between Lachesis and I was one that was brought on by me for reason that Lach brought on himself. His constant saying of how he was going to attack one person and then not doing it bugged me. Also he was big on threats and little on action; he talked about how gruesome and violent he could be, but never actually showed anyone. With my anger and ripping people apart I started to get the feeling that he thought he was better than me so I got angry and challenged him to a battle. This isnít a normal battle in which one person post what they do and then the other person dose and that goes on until someone wins. This one is where you post how you would torture and kill someone. He says he is not interested in winning as much as showing that he can attack someone. My main point what just to provoke him to attack me. Also because I like to attack people.
Dracobolt Clears Up Confusion
Late last week, rumors were flying about Dracobolt possibly leaving the Temple of Kraden. After several people asked her about this, Draco consented to talk to a reporter. Dracobolt tells the Temple Weekly News that the leaked contents of a LiveJournal post she made had been misinterpreted. "Well, jeez, I didn't say a thing about leaving," a bemused Draco said. "I just mentioned that the Temple didn't hold the same allure for me as it did when a pal of mine still went there." Draco told this reporter that she was just a little sad whenever she went to the Temple, knowing that her friend wouldn't be around to make her laugh with his silliness. She added that she was still popping by to take care of things like the board awards and answering PMs. When her friend comes back, Draco said that she would almost definitely resume normal activity. "So chill, y'all." Draco also mentioned that she wasn't going to answer any more specific questions about the issue.
Fall of Mars: Behind the Bio
An interview with Saturos
Hey y'all, Satty here coming at with the usual hunkin' mob of tl;dr, this time about everyone's favourite hawt RP chick, Liliaos Celeste: Lily.
Lily, speaking in terms of Tai's sister, was originally going to be the charming innocent type, a stay-at-home type woman for Tai to remember and fight for during the RP, similar to the dynamic Aka and Rosa have in Quest for the Cure. She wasn't even going to see screentime, so to speak, and be an NPC.
At the same time, however, I offered to do my usual thing and play a villain on the side to Were. Since Alex plays female characters so successfully, I thought
anything he can do I can do better ~~~~ hell, why not? But in building the character, I decided to just merge her and Tai's character for some interesting dynamic - brother and sister, on different sides?
Originally, Lily was going to be Charlotte's villain-in-arms - but the course of the RP took over, and Lily mutated into first a Proxian guard, in order to explain being near Charlotte, and then from there to one of a private council with Big Mike, to being his favourite, to being somewhat of a protagonist for the RP, in a manner of speaking. Not really what I expected from a villain at all, but it's fairly fun the way things have turned out. ^_^ And all the shipping talk is fun.
In creating Lily's personality, I had in mind a femme fatale, a cold and ruthless woman who coyly uses her looks to play things to her advantage. And although she's evolved a bit from that, as people say, her defining trait is still her 'sluttiness'. And to be honest, it's hella tight (as our Californian brothers would say) to play.
As for her hopes and goals, Lily would like nothing more than world domination,
preferably with a hot and sexy man at her side. She's basically a younger version of Big Mike, in all the cunningness, bravery, and strength that entails. She might be willing to make some compromises and allies on the way to share in her victory, but so long as she's number one, that's fine with her.
Also, she plans on sleeping with at least one guy before the RPs over, to stay in-character. >__> Mebbe.
As for my own thoughts on Fall of Mars... I'd say it's the best RP since Rise of Mars, and it reminds me a lot of it in its earlier stages: high standard of writing relatively, good plot, a strong spirit, everything a good RP needs. In a sense, it's the spiritual, if not literal, sequel to RoM. Our RPs have tried to leech of RoM's glory before, and the other major one, ToK, is sort a mishmash of ideas and plot events.
On FoM, though, it's more directed, partially thanks to Were's brilliant RPing skills in Big Mike and with Lethael, setting up a character who could instigate plot events, and be in a sense, the main protagonist. Lach and Deddy's idea with the Mantrak is also a good throwback to the RoM days, as well as giving the RP a darker tone.
Finally, I've seen many of the best RP characters yet in this RP - people really poured their hearts into this RP. Shippings have already started to crop up, but personally, to keep it vague, I'd prefer if we didn't use any set shippings, only hints like in RoM. THAT'S when romance is best played or guessed at - as Golden Sun itself did. And if the Temple goes inactive again, ever... I hope Fall of Mars is there to keep it alive.
Dear Mister Advice Guy!
Dear Mr. Advice Guy,
My business isn't going too well. Any idea what I can do?
Dear T. Bumsnuggle,
I've encountered problems like this before, and after much tedious research, I have come up with only one effective solution.
Enter your laundry room, and look around for a large container labeled "Clorox". Drink up, and things will be much better.
Mr. Advice Guy