Issue 10 ~ December 12, 2007
Betty's Brother Getting Incesty?
On October 14th, Betsuni Alchemist, better known as Demon F0rce, reported his brother committing incestuous acts. Though, lacking in proper grammar, he said his brother was 'Incest'. Indeed, capitalized AND used as an adjective. He said his brother had caressed his butt, and that his brother had been 'stripping for him'. At first, Alex teh Eval and several others tried to correct his grammar, despite Betsuni's protest. However, after a few posts, people began to see the humor of it all. They began to use Incest in sentences all over the Temple, referencing Betsuni's topic. This drove Betty to put 'I am not Incest' into his signature.
In the topic, however, Draco asked 'Is this the same "brother" who made an account and was trolling here before?'. This caused a few amusing lines from Spella, Andy, and Lethael. Then, jokes about naming children 'Incest' came along. Also, when people started saying 'PICS NAO' in the Weekly News topic, Spella drew a 'HE'S INCEST!' picture. She made many people 'lol' and 'rofflecopter' with it, and thus became the Temple Incest Artist.
More news on 'Incest' to come. Check out the Temple Wiki, search word: Incest.
The Census Topic
Draco wanted me to have a few words regarding this topic, here, such as why I created it. As to that, the explanation is fairly simple - given the recent rejoining (appears to be temporary) of CRPGfreek/byou, and in the course of explaining how the Temple had changed to him, I mentioned that we had a fairly active userbase of 20+ members, which is what we used to have, more or less. But the more I thought about it, we routinely had in the upper teens of people online, and each time, different people were there. So I started wondering just how many users we had that dropped by.
Thus, I created the census topic - which is a pretty fitting name for it. At the time of writing this, we have 30 signatures - already a fair bit more than we used to have before. The response to it, in most cases, has been fairly heartening - people have responded each in their own way (lolz, Big BK), and they're good sports about it - you can only get an accurate census if everyone drops by.
However, there's still some people who haven't signed. *coughcoughDracocough* ^_^ But nonetheless, I think it's an experiment in Temple pride, and it's amazing how we've grown since we began.
RPs Abound: New RPs on the Block
Our beloved Temple of Kraden has recently seen an outbreak of the ever-popular RPs, ranging from the Pokemon we all know and love, to the kooky and outrageous Nine Heirs in Search of a Fortune, to the deadly serious Broken Infinity. And frankly, this reporter couldn’t love it more.
Ever the avid fan of RPs, I have taken it upon myself to join and research each and every one of them (notable exceptions of course being the Baby RP, and the 72 Adepts of Weyard). The focus here lies on four RPs which have, as yet, been relatively uncovered.
The first of these is the enjoyable, yet highly underrated, Kingdom Hearts RP. Creator, Darth Bane II, better known back then as bane the Lycanthrope, proposed a universe in which the main characters from the Kingdom Hearts games “are either fallen or dead of old age”. Each RPer would create a character from a different world, each with their own unique Keyblade. RPers would choose an alignment, and then duke it out as per, what Bane alluded to as “a keyblade war… [where] the two sides, good and bad are struggling to take control of the worlds, and, Kingdom Hearts.”
However, there was something of a fallout in the RP, as it started to lose direction and player interest. Bane had this to say, “Unfortunately, I've messed up. I have no way of moving the plot along. IN other words, I seriously dropped the ball here.” On further questioning by myself, Bane added, “I HAD a plot, but then I made some dumb moves, and left it in the dust, unsalvageable.” With some clever deliberation between myself, Bane, and Betty, we managed to come up with a new, solid plot for the RP to run by. The RP currently boasts 16 pages, and while in a temporary lull, should be brought out of it once Bane exerts some of his force on the RP.
Next, we have the complicated and ever-serious RP, Broken Infinity. This revamp of a previous RP by the same name was created by someone as complicated and serious as the RP itself, the one and only Infinity Plus One, or IPO for short. Broken Infinity is currently the only RP boasted by the Temple to have a mathematically calculated battle system, as well as an entirely detached Game Master, or GM. This reporter likes to think of the battle system as Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, with a twist. Of course, that simile does not do justice to the well thought out battle system and storyline created by IPO. Instead, the RP as a whole might be thought of as an RP, Fire Emblem-style. The battles are purely mathematical, but the story is still rich with flavour and drama and direction.
The story itself is another that comes from the brilliant mind of IPO. His own, shortest summary of the story is as follows: “It's about mankind suddenly developing psionic abilities, civilization crumbling as a result, and World War III emerging from the vast nations of the new world order. And of course we gradually learn where these powers came from and figure out why, exactly, the universe was created by one being and co-opted by another for its own purposes thanks to a devastating war between the primordial beings.” While still in its infancy, and with relatively few players, this RP still looks like it will shape up to be one amazing and truly epic RP.
Next comes the fun RP of the bunch, Nine Heirs in Search of a Fortune. Created by the equally quirky Dracobolt, the main premise of the RP is a simple one. To summarise the plot, eccentric billionaire, Albert O’Ralsex (LOL) is dead. His fortune has been sunk into a series of stamps which depict the cut nude scene from It’s A Wonderful Life. The stamps have been hidden on Albert’s island, to be found by the various named heirs, with hints from Albert’s lawyer, played by pseudo-GM, Draco. In the words of famed RPer, Alex, this RP provides “Form and flexibility at the same time”. This RP boasts an all-star cast of RPers, bound to create a funny and exciting RP.
Finally, we have the 72 Adepts of Weyard, created by Betsuni Alchemist a.k.a. Demon F0rce a.k.a. Isshikin Alchemist a.k.a. Eien no Yami. Suffice it to say, he’s gone by a fair few names. This reporter admits that he does not personally participate in this RP. However, that does not mean that it is a sub-par RP. Rather, it showcases my supreme laziness. Again, I shall paraphrase the plot. Before the death of Isaac, he used the Alchemy within him to draw the Elemental Stars towards him. With the lighthouses dead, the Djinn begin to die, which causes them to bond to humans in order to stay alive. This also causes the rest of the population to lose their Psynergy. Thus, the name 72 Adepts of Weyard. Once Alchemy is released yet again, the Djinn gather and “some work to awaken Isaac and bring harmony to the world with Alchemy. The others are working with normal men, who are trying to obtain alchemy for their own selfish needs. There is even a group known as "Mindless". They don't care what happens. Along as they still live, they don't care.”
So there we have it. In such a short amount of time, we have managed to come up with four brilliant RPs. While some feel overwhelmed with the influx of enticing RPs, others feel joy at yet another RP in which they can immerse themselves in. But in the end, all it means is that, no matter what your tastes, whether you want to do something deathly serious or just have some fun, there’s an RP out there for you.
Take a Chill Pill!
What started as a topic about an image manip of Betty’s quickly veered into odder territory when Betty, in his first post, made a reference to a male having a monthly period. The topic quickly turned to how it had to suck that girls have a period every month. Maya Fey then posted a list of reasons that men have it hard, with most of those reasons dealing with enforced gender roles in society. Some of the boys then disputed Maya’s reasons or completely missed the point.
Maya next pointed out that thanks to modern medicine, women “can avoid feeling the menstrual cycle at all,” adding that the moral of the story was, “Drugs are good. Don't let politicians tell you otherwise.” Dracobolt, apparently feeling herself a misandrist, said that, “right now I hate every male that posted in this topic, just because. >_>” However, when this saddened Faust, Draco hastened to point out that “I'm not mad at you, Faust. Just the males.” Then she said that Faust probably would have won the poll for most attractive guy, had he been at the Temple during that time. Kiki agreed with this, saying, “He probably would've. (Sorry everyone else).”
Betty was then afraid of Draco’s wrath acommenced pampering her like a princHowever, the flaw in his logic was soon pointed out. “You're pampering an empress like a princess? Wouldn't that be less pampering than normal?” asked LacEnro was of the opinion that Lachesis should have kept her opinions to himself, as not telling Betty would have led to hilarious violence against him from Draco.
Saturos, ever the ardent defender of the stereotypical qualities of manliness, hastened to say, “Pft, Maya, don't listen to those half-men who disagreed with you. Those points you listed are EXACTLY what is required to be a man. *applauds*” Shadow, however, said, “That's just all the traits of an idiot jock.” Spella, for her part, voiced the succinct opinion that “men suck.” Kris pointed out that the species needed men for survival, but then he pondered that “women probably have something in their purses that could let them survive as a species without men.” When Spella pointed out that she did not carry a purse, Kris spouted the classic line, “That means you can't be like Amelia Airheart and live in the desert eating lipstick or something. I swear she's alive somewhere!”
At this point, Saturos continued to defend his view of manliness, but Enro decided to settle the question by saying, “Let's put this to rest. I am the manliest being there is. If you are unlik me in any way, you are unmanly.” Lachesis then commented on how bleak humanity’s future would be if that was the case.
After that, the topic took a turn for the lol-tastic when Betty, in his naivety, said, “we have an everyday-every 3 day thing (depending on the man). They're called erections.” Chrono Ivan responded with, “Wow betty, that's just about the most ignorant (and borderline misogynistic) thing you could have plausibly said about this topic. I know people who go their whole LIVES trying and FAILING to sound that ignorant. Good job.” After this, a few comments were made about alcohol and its merits and flaws, and then Draco linked to a post where telling women to have a happy period was mocked because of the stupidity of the statement. A short while after that, it was reaffirmed that Faust was a Mercury Clansman in spirit, if not in user group.
Betty then debated Saturos’ defense of beer, saying, “Not every man that isn't gay likes beer. I hate beer, but you don't see me rooting a man 24/7.” Faust then asked, “What, so you're saying that you only root guys sometimes?” Betty was then chastised by Enro and some others to not take the internet so seriously. What followed was more praising of beer, as well as Shadow offering to have Faust/Zoorti’s kids if he were female. Draco then slipped the fellows date rape drugs in their beer, but as the topic died down, there was no indication if she was successful in snaring anyone, nor what she planned to do with any helpless victims.
Temple-goers Engage In Murderous Debate
Andycat, reporting from the music subforum
The debate on who is the greatest guitarist took on a whole new level of intensity when a member of the Temple (we’ve forgotten who) took out a chainsaw when somebody else did not see his point. Several other members responded by drawing their own concealed weapons. Those involved in the brawl, mainly those for Jonny Greenwood, and those for 80s guitarists in general, sported a number of different types of wounds.
Saturos was riddled with gunshots, and it was also revealed by a Geiger Counter that he had elevated levels of Strontium-90 in his bloodstream. Authorities are still trying to find out who has nuclear weapons from the Temple. Saturos is currently recovering in St. Mungo’s. His younger brother, Silvanus fared off slightly better, on having his left eye poked out and a coat hanger stuck in his small intestine. He is expected to make a full recovery, with the aid of a bionic eye. Suezo is currently missing, but small bits of organic matter found around the subforum seem to be from him. It is thought that a commandeered Oxygen Destroyer from Dr. Serizawa is responsible for his death. Adnarel is also in St. Mungo’s having received 3rd degree burns on his back, as well as multiple severe lacerations on his torso. The cuts are deep, and are thought to have been given by a battle axe. HotSauce got in the way of a meteor attack. Memorials will go directly to cancer research funds. Werebarret seemed to walk away unfazed. Officials believe this is because of the meteor attack that HotSauce was hit by. Damage to the subforum was heavy. Rice drops are scheduled.
The voting for best guitarist is currently underway. Jonny Greenwood and Frank Zappa are currently tied for first place with two votes apiece.
Quakera! The Kindness of the Pie!
Recent events have been making yours truly wonder for why the Quakera people were being so quiet. I decided to do a bit of digging and soon uncovered the reason.
"We're helping orphans!" cried a delighted Draco, who welcomed me into her Temple room for a cup of tea and a slice of pound cake, not to mention a strip of news.
I questioned Miss Bolt about why Quakera had suddenly done this, but she shook the question away with a laugh. "Come now, Phoenix. Quakera has been doing this for quite some time, we just never thought to let the juice out of the glass. However, the kids at the orphanage are very sweet, after all, we must try out best to steer them away from incest."
I also wondered how she felt about this, such an event to help children in need.
"Well, we gave a lot of money to that charity and we've been baking pies, giving money and even sewing quilts for the poor kiddies!"
But I still was asking for more, like how she thought the other temple people would react.
"Oh, now that shouldn't be too difficult. People like Venus and Jupiter would help too, but I doubt they'd want to partake with us. Most of Mercury are already involved. Ian is starting to praise us and is even donating, a bit more than money though.”
I then thought to ask about the other tribe members’ reactions.
"Oh, they loved it. Joanna has been reading stories and Kyarorain keeps whipping out the Brainwashing Pie, she had to leave for a bit when one child actually ate one and pledged loyalty to Quakera. Not too sure what happened to him," Draco replied, sipping her cup of tea.
But I still had a few questions up my sleeves, asking what they would plan to do further.
"Well, we're going round to sing carols for Christmas, Silent Night is a real knockout by us all. We're also be going to make Temple of Kraden crackers, we have a few jokes, a Fall of Mars Hugo action figure and several other toys and even some paper hats."
I simply had to comment on how much better Quakera was doing being in the Christmas spirit then Tenacious.
"Well, it's that time of year, Santa Claus is coming and all that, provided he's out of prison for that road rage last year. Of course, if anyone sings badly for the carols for Jingle Bells, I'm going to stab them with my plank." She commented, showing a nail in her plank, blood rarely showing.
I simply nodded and decided I had heard enough. I turned away and thanked Draco, also reminding her to pay the rent to me by next week.
Shining Some Light On A New Face
An Interview with Sunny-chan
What first convinced you to join the Temple of Kraden?
Couple of reasons, for the past two years or so my Golden Sun work's really been... dead, and I've been losing touch with the GS community, which makes me sad, because GS is pwn in a plastic cartridge. I've been on Gaia rather heavily, but frankly the people there are.. ugh... I just ended a relationship with someone, and I can't post ANYWHERE on the site without hearing about it on AIM, MSN, or PMs on Gaia, it makes me feel really tied down.
Saturos referred me here, and I'm loving it so far. There's depth to the conversations, but still loads of comedy that makes me feel right at home. Luffing you guys so far! ^^
Felix/Karst: Why is it so appealing to you?
I first heard of Felix/Karst when I read D. Wander's one-shot Standing Alone, a Piers-centric one shot which vaguely mentioned Felix and Karst being together. I dunno what it was about the pairing, maybe it was just how he portrayed this 'Thrice doomed' love affair, but it got me thinking. I tried building my own Story just to reason it out, and wound up with my own 20 chapter fanfiction. *I won't bother with that link, it's in my sig and that's enough*. The more I write a pairing, the more I like it, so the more I write about it, it's a catch-22 that I really keeping alive.
Besides, I think the only other character I think I could ever write Felix with would be Hamma, and I don't really... want to xD
Do you think we'll ever get a Golden Sun 3?
Oooh... mean... I'm torn. Yes, I do think there'll be a Golden Sun three, but frankly I'm a bit worried that it won't have the same cast, and it's the characters who really make the game work for me. I don't want to have Felix's kid running around, since I know it won't be half Proxian, and I don't really want someone finally answering the question of "Who gets Jenna?". I think it'll come in a few years, but I'm just terrified of it somehow being so much less than what I'd want or expect from the developers ):
Tell us a bit more about yourself.
Fan-fiction, fan-fiction, Raw raw raw!
I'm Sunny, a Video-game freak and Nintendo fan. I live out in Vancouver Canada and am getting ready to finish up my last year of High School. I've been working away at Fanfictions since May of 2004, my first major project being one for Golden Sun 8D I'm not particularly loyal to my stories, but I AM to my fandoms. In game history, theological depth, expansion on key issues and parallels to the real world are all immensely important to me.
I'm up to date on a lot of Real World political issues, but would really rather not talk about that here. Gaia Online's given me a sharp tongue when I get angry, the sort that makes enemies, and I think I'd cry if I shot myself in the foot like that here at the Temple because I lost my temper even once ;_;
I love to fall back on humour though, so happy everyone here seems to do the same!
What are your thoughts on yaoi?
I'm not touchy about Yaoi, I just dislike it when I don't get a feel for the characters being that way. Not a homophobe, not against Shounen-ai *I find it cute sometimes*, but really not a fan of it in Fanfiction unless the characters are already gay or bi. ):
I do like Taka/Kai from Beyblade though <3
The Temple Shipping Topic
It started with an offhand comment by Alex teh Eval in the Temple Weekly News topic. “'Fine, Lach. If you won't tell me what gender you are, I'll have to find out myself.' Shadow purred, reaching under the sheets,” Alex wrote, calling it an excerpt from a Lach/Shadow fic. The initial reactions were ones of horror, including Kyarorain’s “I CANNOT UNSEE IT. D=” and Draco’s “*bangs head against the wall* Oh, my eyes! My sweet, innocent eyes!” Shadow later added that, “You and I are going to a special hell for that......” However, Templegoers soon cottoned on to the hilarity of Temple fan fiction. Indeed, once Dracobolt got over her initial horror, she suggested Phoenix/Werebarret, writing, “‘Oh, that's it, Werebarret! Bang my gavel!’”
Alex teh Eval took things to the next level by making an actual topic devoted to the Temple ‘ships. Among the suggestions in the topic were Saturos/GSAlex, Alex teh Eval/Spella, Draco/Andy, Ian/Tristia, Asphy/Kris, and Phoenix/Kiki. Many of these pairings were given funny, descriptive pairing names, like Antagonismshipping, GoldenSunZshipping, MrsDracoWinklershipping, FallenAngelshipping, and, for Spella/Shadow, JUSTHAVESEXALREADYshipping. Alex/Draco, was, of course, h0rshipping.
Bringing up the fic excerpt featuring him and Lachesis, Shadow coined a name for the pairing, calling it Purrshipping. Also in the topic, Betty/his brother was officially given a ‘ship name, Incestshipping. Like it would have been called anything else. However, Alex did suggest *slaps own ass*shipping as an alternative name.
Not everyone was quite as enthusiastic about the idea of Temple ‘ships as some people. Lachesis commented, saying, “Don'tmakemebeatyoushipping: Myself/anyone,” making it clear that s/h/it was not amused. Betty also expressed distress at being put into yaoi pairings, but no one cared what he thought.
Later pairings to pop up were Whipshipping, which was Asphy/Diddy, Cancestshipping for Saturos/Silvanus, Firemanshipping for Alex teh Eval/Andy, and Ohnoezshipping for Lethael/Steve Heiden. About the latter, Shadow asked, “Can that even happen?”, to which Alex replied, “...In the case of fanfiction, 'Can that even happen?' is not a legitimate question.” After that, she issued a capslock challenge to Draco, challenging her to write every pairing mentioned. Draco replied with, “Alex, before I accept, take a moment to think about what you're asking. Are you sure you can deal with the consequences of your request?” Alex then narrowed the request to Draco’s three favorites. There is no word on whether Draco is actually working on this, however with this article to remind her and Christmas break coming up, we can only fear the worst.
Many more pairings were coined, and eventually Draco made an article for the Temple Wiki about the topic with a list of pairings that was up to date at the time of the wiki article’s creation.
The Misfortune of Being a Fan of Underrated Characters
by Maya Fey
I like characters who are sarcastic. I like those who are silly. I like characters who are shy, but not the annoying types of shy. Just the ones who barely speak much. I like characters who are anthropomorphic animals, aliens or other kinds of non humans. I like characters who are in their young teens or even younger then that. I also like characters on the opposite end of the age spectrum, the elderly. I like characters who act like animals. According to this, I like a wide range of characters and it should cover a lot of characters.
WRONG! These characters in the video games world are pretty few. And unfortunately they are mostly hated and underrated. According to my made up statistic, 85% of playable characters are generic, angst, older teenage characters. And the rest of them are what I listed above.
The generic, angst, older teenage characters seriously bore me. No matter what goal they have in life, they are all pretty much the same to me. Golden Sun also feel under this category. I could not care less about Isaac, Felix, Jenna, Mia or Garet. Sorry fans of them, I actually like the GS story thanks to the Proxians and the other three playable characters. With an exception to Ivan, the other two characters are mostly meh in fandom. You may try to defend Piers, but compared to the other characters that I don't care about, he gets the short end of the stick when it comes to fandom. And Sheba, woah. She has the least number of fans in the fandom.
I feel so alone in the world when it comes to what I am a fan of. When I first played FFVI the characters in the beginning were ok to me. The gameplay pulled me in though. When I fist met Gau, it all changed. I was like all "awww" to him. A lil kid acting like an animal. So weird but fun. But of course I was afraid to check the other FFVI fans' views on him. I knew they were gonna bash him until the ends of the Earth. They make all kinds of mean jokes on him. Mog is another one of the characters that do not appear often in normal human dominated RPGs. And anthropomorphic animal. I actually was lucky this time, that they did not bash him. I guess being a mascot saves him. But fans like me still feel dominated by the Terra and Kefka fans. How many of those exist in the world.
I mentioned I like silly characters as well. Yuffie comes into play here. She is bashed as well, sigh. I like immature characters. So lonely. And they like Aeris and Cloud, cookie cutter personality types to me. Well I do like Red XIII too, for being non human and unique and has quite a bit of fans. I am lucky again.
Sarcastic characters. Here comes Sheba to make this Golden Sun related on a Golden Sun forum. She is sarcastic and witty and cracks jokes. Her personality is a mixture of Midna from Twilight Princess and Toph from Avater. Small in size, yet sarcastic and sometimes dangerous. Will not dangerous enough for the GS fans to call here weak and stuff. Dangerous according to storyline. She has the most characterization compared to the other playable characters. If you go with game cannon alone and speculation, she may have the most text written about her than any other character besides maybe Alex. Yet, I was unfortunate again in choosing my favorite character. Not enough people in the fandom to talk about her. Sad.
Speaking of Toph, ever realize that all my favorite character types fare better in television than in video games. Toph is pretty similar in personality to Sheba and is one of the most popular characters in that show. Funny how that works.
Back to video games, one of my most favorite video games is Earthbound. It has everything I can ever ask for. Characters who are all preteens, not much of that in the world of video games. And many other things I don't feel like talking about now. The main thing is the age of the characters. It's always late teenage characters, isn't it. Come on I like imagining a 8 year old pwning the third greatest mole with a baseball bat, not a sword. In conclusion. Screw the conclusion. I am not finishing this. So I don't like Isaac, boo hoo.
Intestines of Hell!
A Babelfish featurette. Spella ran the ending post of Rise of Mars through a translator and back to hilarious results. Article title comes from a different translation of the same post. Intestines of Hell! may be regularly featured. If you know of a piece of fan fiction that could be rendered hilarious by a translator, send it in!
And therefore, finally terminates. Regnoare was again taken up out of operation and by the moon, in order to absorb in viscere of hell for the quality, it knows, how much time. Scyian and Ciel, like angels of their dii, hour have a new life had..., to the Meg.s the ohm and the Kuhja Jupiter after, in the possession Mars of stars to leave from Venus, mercury and of. However as, if from their have - or rather the will of the alcoholic adjusts of dii, in order to maintain it to you: _ the Djinn -, without in the air warn, increase and be also disappear, transfer their area the break in Heiligtum the Solenoides, in which a day, which they be will, to you disturb. This test, this guardiano, which and the representative of of-same, air-locks became its eye and slept fate it venerable is, in the core sanctify around of the Solenoides, remaining with fundamental stars until the period of its waking it manages. The two Adepten of the elements, which are unlikeliest in the conflict, of the friends, have it a last view around too formed the beacon jumping of Mars and from left, rimuovendo the hatch taken in the center of tilting somewhat from free snow. Agreed by the level, bloodied the fresh snow, which transmitted on their, the armament, was the remainders of the army of Proxian. The soldier fairs of the organization clan figliata by the battleground, please into its element, hour of the remainder in the end. The dark army completely was demoliert; still alive those monsters and Mantrak had been bound grida course to you, while the rear one released the spirit, for the Adepten with evenly inside the liberty are been in hell. Those out of operation are already use to you in the flames been and them are fires you to ash. "except Betriebregnoare,", announced Kuhja, its language ink with satisfaction and a dark sort triumph. While Kuhja and the Meg. ohm went in front inside, general di Proxian for greet increased. "the hail, Kuhja! The hail Meg. Ohm! Helder of Weyard!" It raised its nozzle in air and in air, which are resounded with that echoes army grida. The energizing army of Proxian has circles it, which soldiers cried congratulanteseli and schiaffeggianti the Kuhja on the rear part and folding to the Meg. ohm some uniforms with joy to their release and a song of Victoria increased on the drive by the troop of Proxian. The OH -, the gone shade and the sky are light, which the high lower surfaces of the world with nothing, which is the latter malvagità and the sun to be afraid shinin, ', which has each black cloud a silver coverage. We have gemuto and gemuto, but not there are ways, even if our bodies provoke to you and are boneses have the pain were had that we have jet of the weight, we have cleaned cleaned up up the slate. It is time to begin from new. Each Lasci man and the woman, to their voice on the height to raise sings to a praising greased high Benedict of the increase of the sky their babies, popola by the mass and it extension, it extension, the new age of the man. The Meg. ohm and the Kuhja raised their a witness over the marking signs of the flight of the army of Proxian outside and to have to sparkling stars of the night sky, with moon observed, which apparent hangs Pacific as mezzaluna. Lightning of the movement it obstructed its eyes and it could not not help however Designs to you to be alla.vista. A connection of the bright stars, a white Mange in the tonality and the other one morbidezza, the Viola kind nearly, running by the sky, a persistent picture weak person in their waking leaving. They came to the contact in the constellation of Caelestis - a shining number of gear wheels of the stars - and with lightning of the light, unexpectedly disappeared. Completely, benchè, like a trace sparks do not come down from the point. Stardust came down into the hands of the Meg.s ohm and the Kuhja - one colored Viola it, for one a gold expropriated white man. A last memory. As would known have come the fact that which, while the age dawned fioca, observes two Helder you to the sky, domandantesi, in which their distance would lead it afterwards. In the cover starry of the sky, a zone should appear straight. Mars, hardly increasing over the horizon and announce a new age.
A Temple Relationship Hotter Than Hell?
It has recently come to my attention that a new love has been forged at the temple, one that puts even the infamous Were/Draco pairing to shame. I speak, of course, of Lachesis and Shadow, AKA That Asian Guy.
Lachesis and Shadow have been the topic of gossip for quite a while, but this is truth, ladies and gentlemen. It has been brought to light that Shadow has long yearned for Lachesis's heart for quite some time, according to Shadow, "The beginning of time." Lachesis has been quite wary, but now he seems ready to return Shadow's love.
A careful examination of the Jupiter Clan Green Room was successful, a letter was found from Shadow to Lachesis.
Your eyes are red like a cherry,
Your voice is like a call from the sky.
I need you now, to embrace like a purple blueberry,
And I shall hold you, my love, ever so high.
We can clearly see the love of Shadow's heart as he pines for his beloved "Lachy". The two have yet to announce their relationship, but by the time this article is out, they will have made it to the bedroom. We can do naught but give our happiness and congratulations to the pair. Lachesis, while unable to comment, did remark Shadow as, "A rose that has yet to blossom."
Don't Feed The Trolls
Over recent days, the Temple of Kraden has been hit by two different trolls. On December 3, edible sheba joined and "just posted links to low-quality porn, which the Temple does not appreciate. We have standards," according to Adnarel. He suspended edible sheba and dealt with the topic, and then Saturos banned the troll. “edible sheba, methinks, was just some bored troll dropping by for one-time shits and giggles,” said Saturos. “A spambot wouldn't be capable of forming GS-related thoughts like that, and no one would seriously be dumb enough to do that with malicious intent. So, it makes that case rather simple - axe them, and they'll most likely just forget about it and not come back.”
Then, early in the morning on December 5, grim_reapist returned. Called “our most persistent troll” by Saturos, grim_reapist had trolled at the Temple of Kraden before, asking about how to "bumrape" Sheba. “He posted some of the most offensive and revolting stuff I've ever seen,” added Saturos. “I dealt with it - and trust me, if I ever believe the safety or harmony of the Temple is threatened, you do not want to be on the other side.” This time grim_reapist said he wanted to talk about Golden Sun and not bumrape, but Dracobolt banned him anyway.
New Snack Bar Picture
On December 6, Dracobolt completed a third Snack Bar drawing. This drawing features seven familiar faces, including Bane, Spella, IPO, Ian, Maya, Astra, and Tristia. So who is who? Here’s a hint. The two girls’ shirts have clues on them as to who they are. Check out the full-sized version which will be on display on the Snack Bar’s first page to see a larger version.
NaNoWriMo at the Temple
This past month was National Novel Writing Month. The challenge is to write a fifty thousand word novel in one month. Quite a few of the Kradenettes entered. HyrulianJedi decided to try "a modern fantasy...thing. It's traditionally had sci-fi elements as well, but I dunno if I'm doing that. It's supposed to be across multiple planets, so whatever. I've got most of the protagonists made, and a couple of the antagonists, and no idea what happens to them." He finished with a final word count of 50,377.
Jeff Jackson's Thoughts On Baseball was written by Elephande, who made it to an astonishing 70,687 before the month was out. Dracobolt also crossed the finish line. She whipped out 50,050 words of her novel. It was a fantasy story that hashed out the basic world and plot for an RPG idea she had been considering.
Sora G. Silverwind, Kyarorain, Alex teh Eval, Sacra, and GSAlex, among others, also signed up, but whether they won or not was not mentioned anywhere that this reporter could find. The Temple's newest member, EchoKazul, also completed NaNoWriMo. Also, National Novel Writing Month was responsible for the long hiatus that the News was on.
Temple of Kraden: Choose Your Own Adventure!
Last week, on
Dragon Ball Z the CYOA...
Quick like lightning, Lethael takes one look at the swinging plank and slams the hat down on Draco's head, covering her eyes and dousing her in booze. He ducks under the swing and starts running. Behind him, Draco's eyes blaze as she rips off the hat and dusts off her old Dragon Sword, then leaps. Lethael, swearing, has to think of something:
a) Whip out a cell phone and dial the Tenacious Tribe. He needs back-up.
b) Transform into Johnie Cochran and convince Draco of his innocence.
c) Punt the Dragon Sword out of her hands, take it, and hold her hostage. Time for a new era of booze-filled fun.
d) As she is covered in flammable alcohol, light her on fire.
You, Kradenettes, voted A.
Lethael ducks behind a wooden column just as Draco's sword whistles through the air where he was standing, embedding itself in the column with a dull thud. The column is half-severed, and as Draco is occupied trying to get the blade out, Lethael ducks behind another column and makes a call.
Draco, meanwhile, has freed her blade, and with one mighty chop destroys the column Lethael is hiding behind. She blasts him with a flood of water, and he sprawls across the floor, wet and bedraggled.
As Draco advances on him, from afar one can just discern the shredding licks of an electric guitar...
The walls begin to shake with riffing bass, and a massive hole is ripped through the wall by the sheer pulsing energy. Jackal leaps through the hole, unleashing a mad, bone-beating riff on his bass, physically shaking the ground beneath Draco.
He is quickly followed by Shadow, who pulls out a complete drumset and whales on it.
Spellbinder leaps through the hole next, playing one-handed on her electric while she hands off the other to Lethael, with a knowing nod.
Saturos steps in through the hole next, and pulls out a grand pipe organ. He plays a power chord, and looks over to Lethael.
Lethael nods, and turns his amp up to 11.
And as one, they begin to sing:
oh We're Not Gonna Take It
no, We Ain't Gonna Take It
oh We're Not Gonna Take It Anymore
oh You're So Condescending
your Gall Is Never Ending
we Don't Want Nothin', Not A Thing From You
Draco is reduced to a defensive position by all the pounding rock surrounding her, and is driven to her knees. Her eardrums feel as if they're about to explode...
a) whip out HER cell phone and call the Quakera tribe. It's war.
b) Cue a Broadway musical.
c) Invest in a pair of earplugs, and systematically beat some heads in.
d) Cut the power to their amps.
The Polling Booth
Kradenettes Weigh In On the Issue Of the Week
This week’s poll: Are you introverted or extroverted?
Post your answer, along with any comments, in the News thread or PM them to Dracobolt. We’ll be posting what you have to say in the next issue.
Temple Weekly News Christmas Contest
In order to celebrate the season, the Temple Weekly News is sponsoring a contest. Simply come up with a Temple of Kraden-themed version of The Twelve Days of Christmas. Be as creative as you can, and submit your lyrics by PM to Dracobolt by December 19. The winner’s version will be featured in the next issue published after judging is done.
Dear Mister Advice Guy
Dear Mister Advice Guy,
I was on gamefaqs and I saw a topic there saying that Santa isn't real! Why do people say such dumb things? Everyone knows that Santa is real. Last year he brought me Guitar Hero 2, so I know he's real! Please tell me what I can say to own those noobs on GameFAQS.
Dear Defender of the Claus,
Of course Santa is real. However, he's not as kind as all that. Why, just last year he tried to kill me in my own bed. Thankfully, I was able to distract him with cookies. I don't get why he attacked me, though...
Mr. Advice Guy.
What would the quickest way to get someone to stop annoying me be?
Dear Nameless One,
Cut his head off and make a bowling ball out of his skull. That should shut him and anyone else who annoys you.
Mr. Advice Guy