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Please don’t mind the pterodactyl and try some of Ianto’s coffee while we take a brief tour of Torchwood-Three.

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Degrees of "fine"; Post-Valian, Ianto at Dr. Greene's
Topic Started: Jul 16 2009, 09:10 AM (318 Views)
i_jones
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Time Lord
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
He'd been vague when Jack had asked what he was doing this afternoon, but there'd been a solemn, knowing look in Jack's eyes that suggested he could guess. Ianto was a bit surprised Jack hadn't dragged him down to the shooting range yet, but with Owen out and the rest of them beat, Jack had been picking up the slack. Ianto wasn't quite so optimistic to think he was in the clear, but at least he could point out he was doing something about it by going to Dr. Greene's when Jack did decide to bring it up.

If he could figure out what the hell he was going to say now, that was. Ianto left his coat in the waiting room and knocked on the office door.
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Alex Greene
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[ *  * ]
Greene had been reading through a transcript when she heard the waiting room door buzz. She cursed quietly under her breath -- it wasn't often she let herself get so distracted that she felt unprepared -- locked her PC console, and picked up her clipboard.

Ianto Jones. Of all of them, he'd been the most forthcoming and willing to consider meeting with her at least semi-regularly, or at least the most willing to be in contact. She opened her office door to greet him with a smile, though it was perhaps a little more wide-eyed than she intended. He looked, frankly, exhausted.

"Have a seat, Ianto," she said, indicating the furniture. "How are you doing? Would you like anything to drink?"
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i_jones
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"You'll never hear me say this again, but if I have another cup of coffee I think I'll hit the ceiling," Ianto said ruefully, dropping into the loveseat with none of his characteristic caution. "Which should just about answer your first question. Thank you for adjusting your schedule for me."
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Alex Greene
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[ *  * ]
"It's no trouble at all. I'm just pleased I could accommodate you," she replied with a small but friendly smile. Greene retrieved her own cup of tea and sat down across from Ianto in an armchair.

"So. What would you like to talk about?"
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i_jones
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[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Ianto pushed his tongue against the inside of his teeth - why was this so difficult to say? He didn't consider himself an arrogant person, he could admit when he'd been wrong. But he found himself falling back on sentences he'd run over in his head on the way here, and the night before.

"When I saw you before," he said slowly, "I said my... issues weren't affecting my job. It turns out I was wrong about that." He caught himself twisting his hands together in his lap and gripped tight before forcing them to relax.

"There was a mission, out of Cardiff, that we just returned from." Ianto shut his eyes, trying to keep from sliding sideways past the memories and just look at them. "It was difficult, to say the least, but it shouldn't have been as difficult as it was. I froze up. I put people in danger. People were killed." Just because it had been Jack didn't make it any less true, Ianto figured.
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Alex Greene
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[ *  * ]
"I'm sorry to hear it," Greene answered gently. Ianto's distress was plain, which was troubling. He was usually quite guarded about his traumas. Still, Harkness hadn't called on her to assist with grief counseling, so that was something.

"Can you tell me more about what happened, and what went wrong for you?"
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i_jones
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[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
"It was - we were - " Ianto stopped, swallowing. His mouth was dry, tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth. "Maybe a glass of water, after all."

He waited until Greene handed him a glass, and took a sip, wetting his mouth. "We're not really military, you know that? Weapons, armies, guns - that's UNIT, not us. We know the science, the technology, we gather information and bodies and leftover technology from the rift. And sometimes that means we need to fight, but not... "

He rolled his shoulders, the low cracks of his protesting body traveling up his neck. "There was a battle on this ship - the Valiant, I suppose you know it. Soldiers on both sides, and we got caught up in a firefight. And I was - I froze," he finished, helplessly. He couldn't even describe it. Every time he tried to think back, figure out what had happened, it slid away from him.
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Alex Greene
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[ *  * ]
She listened as he explained about Torchwood, and about their role compared to UNIT's. This wasn't the first she'd heard of differences there, but Jones drove the point home with the way his hands seemed unsteady. He looked far too young in his suit, like a boy brought into court over some infraction far larger than himself.

"How's your memory? Are you having flashbacks? Changes in sleep?" she asked, already wondering what she could do to help him. "Presumably you haven't been back long enough to really know about changes in mood."
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i_jones
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Ianto tensed at "flashbacks", nodding distractedly at "changes in sleep".

"Yeah. Yes," he corrected. "I keep going back to in my head, wishing I could change it. Can't sleep for the guilt. But I can't..." he struggled for words, drinking the water to compensate. "I don't quite know what happened. One moment I was fine, and the next, I was terrified. I thought I was dead, I thought we were all dead, but that makes no sense, because it wasn't that bad."
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Alex Greene
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[ *  * ]
"Has Dr. Harper offered you anything in the short term? Something for the sleep, or maybe the anxiety?" she asked. While on the whole it seemed like Harkness' team was generally resistant to any sort of pharmaceutical intervention, there was a lot to be said for using a short course of medication to take the edge off of fresh trauma.

Not that all of Jones' trauma was fresh. She cursed Torchwood One quietly for their failure to really treat their surviving staff, and herself for not fighting harder at the time to ensure it. Still, perhaps she'd have the opportunity to right some of those sins.
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i_jones
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[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
"No. No," Ianto said as he shook his head. "Owen's off. He was injured, so Andy's been manning the medical bay. I have access to sleeping pills, anyway," he admitted. Ianto usually tried to forget his cabinet contained them, afraid if he started taking them he wouldn't be able to stop, but if things were slow, perhaps he could make an excuse.
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