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| Jokes game; can be funny at times. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 30 2006, 04:09 PM (2,784 Views) | |
| Post #131 Aug 27 2010, 08:05 PM | Alex |
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Bruce and Becky are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Becky’s father to ask him for her hand. “Mr. Smith, me and Becky are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.” Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, “You are only 10. Where will you two live?” Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce says, “In Becky’s room. It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.” Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, “Okay, then how will you live? You’re not old enough to get a job. You’ll need to support Becky.” Again, Bruce instantly replies, “Our allowance, Becky makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That’s about 60 bucks a month, so that should do us just fine.” Mr. Smith is impressed that Bruce has put so much thought into this. “Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?” Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, “Well, we’ve been lucky so far.” Mr. Smith no longer thinks this little shit is adorable. |
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| Post #132 Aug 28 2010, 01:01 PM | Faro |
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lmao.. dirty little babies! If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? |
"He was hacking on me"
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| Post #133 Sep 1 2010, 12:36 PM | Alex |
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It depends on how many trees fall, I think :) 1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption. 5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.' 13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.' 15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 17. A backward poet writes inverse. 18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes. 19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine. 21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.' 22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!' 23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.' 25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. 26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did. |
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| Post #134 Sep 1 2010, 01:07 PM | Faro |
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lol, I love all the puns! Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it. I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends. A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no. |
"He was hacking on me"
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| Post #135 Sep 1 2010, 03:31 PM | Alex |
| LOL!! |
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| Post #136 Sep 3 2010, 04:13 PM | Alex |
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The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. “How could you do this!” “I don’t know,” she wailed, “I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, ‘Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.’” “Well,” the pastor persisted, “You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, “Get behind me, Satan!” “I did,” replied his wife, “but then he said “It looks great from back here, too!” |
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| Post #137 Sep 4 2010, 01:36 PM | Faro |
| That dern Devil! He's a liar too so she probably look horrible! lol |
"He was hacking on me"
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| Post #138 Sep 4 2010, 03:11 PM | Alex |
| probably like two pigs fightin under a blanket! |
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| Post #139 Sep 5 2010, 01:34 PM | Faro |
| lol |
"He was hacking on me"
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| Post #140 Sep 10 2010, 02:00 PM | That English-Edge |
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- What's this 'Pyscho-The-Rapist' Section? - I think you'll find that's pronounced 'Psychotherapist' What do you get, if you have a degree in Analysis, and therapy? You get an Analrapist. :| |
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Carlsberg don't make members...
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