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| Jamaicans; we are so unique | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 23 2007, 08:58 AM (44 Views) | |
| Venomous | May 23 2007, 08:58 AM Post #1 |
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>St. Peter came to the Lord and >said, "Lord, I have to talk to you. > > I have a problem. I know >we didn't have many Jamaicans in heaven > > you instituted an affirmative >action plan and we are supposed to > >have 10,000 Jamaicans in >heaven. But they are causing so many problems! > > They have torn down the >Pearly Gates by swinging on them. > > They have let in another >10,000 of their bredrin through the >fence. > > They are constantly standing >by the gate disturbing Angel Gabriel > begging for a >"bly" for their baby modder, cousin, sistren, neighbour, granny, > auntie... > > Whenever it is their turn >to watch the gates they keep letting in good looking women and fat >women. > > They have gotten jerk >sauce all over their white robes. > > Drum pan chicken >is being sold all over the Streets of Gold. > > Some are walking >around with only one wing because they are "styling" > > Angels must have two wings >to fly! Some of them have put on >chrome wings and dazzling >the other angels when they are flying. > > The white robes are eternal >and must be washed five times a day. > >Some haven't washed their >robes since they arrived because they didn't > come to heaven do >"day's work". > > Some have refused to take >their tun in helping keep the Stairway >to Heaven clean because >"dem ah no boddy helper". > > Many who came here because >they used salt are still using it >because they don't like >"ital" food. > > Some refuse to wear their >halos because they don't fit right over their hairstyles. Others are >wearing their halos backways. Others are wearing their halos >with the tags still attached to them. Others have discarded the > white halos and are wearing gold ones instead they claim these are > bashy". > > > > Most of the women have >discarded their white robes and are wearing > white shorts and >"batty riders" claiming that they have pretty skin and > want to show off >their "bandylegs". > > Reggae music is blasted >at all hours of night at their "bashments", disturbing all the other >residents. > > Their cellular phones >are worn on their robes and keeps ringing during prayers. > > Recently there was an >altercation between Adam and one Jamaican who > claims he was only >"checking out" Eve. > > They have planted marijuana >in the Garden of Eden since the soil >is so fertile claiming "man >and man haffi hustle". > > What should I do?!" > > The Lord said; "It >wouldn't be fair to not let Jamaicans in heaven. > They have just >as much right to be here as other nationalities. Maybe >we just don't know >how to deal with them; maybe we are using the wrong > approach. We need >to check with someone who has more experience dealing with > them. Let's call >the Devil. > > The Devil answered the >phone and said, "Hello, Lord. What can I do for you?" > > The Lord said, "We >have a problem up here, and we'd like to talk to > you about it." The >Devil said, "Just a minute, I've got to put you on hold. "The > Devil was gone five >minutes. > > He came back to the phone >and said, "OK Lord, I'm back. What's up?" > > The Lord said, "Well, >I would like to talk to you about a problem up here." > > Once again the Devil excused >himself and put the Lord on hold. This time he was gone for fifteen >minutes. Finally, the Devil came back to the phone and said, > > "Lord, I am really >sorry, but I can't talk to you right now. I have to go. > These damn Jamaicans down >here..... Yesterday they had air conditioning > installed. Now they have >just extinguished Hell's Fire, saying "man come > to Hell fe 'chill'. |
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| mz_big_booty07 | May 23 2007, 04:04 PM Post #2 |
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V THAT FUNNY I LIKE THAT ONE |
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9:43 AM Jul 11