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Jamaicans; we are so unique
Topic Started: May 23 2007, 08:58 AM (44 Views)
Venomous
Unregistered

>St. Peter came to the Lord and
>said, "Lord, I have to talk to you.
>
> I have a problem. I know
>we didn't have many Jamaicans in heaven
>
> you instituted an affirmative
>action plan and we are supposed to
>
>have 10,000 Jamaicans in
>heaven. But they are causing so many problems!
>
> They have torn down the
>Pearly Gates by swinging on them.
>
> They have let in another
>10,000 of their bredrin through the
>fence.
>
> They are constantly standing
>by the gate disturbing Angel Gabriel
> begging for a
>"bly" for their baby modder, cousin, sistren, neighbour, granny,
> auntie...
>
> Whenever it is their turn
>to watch the gates they keep letting in good looking women and fat
>women.
>
> They have gotten jerk
>sauce all over their white robes.
>
> Drum pan chicken
>is being sold all over the Streets of Gold.
>
> Some are walking
>around with only one wing because they are "styling"
>
> Angels must have two wings
>to fly! Some of them have put on
>chrome wings and dazzling
>the other angels when they are flying.
>
> The white robes are eternal
>and must be washed five times a day.
>
>Some haven't washed their
>robes since they arrived because they didn't
> come to heaven do
>"day's work".
>
> Some have refused to take
>their tun in helping keep the Stairway
>to Heaven clean because
>"dem ah no boddy helper".
>
> Many who came here because
>they used salt are still using it
>because they don't like
>"ital" food.
>
> Some refuse to wear their
>halos because they don't fit right over their hairstyles. Others are
>wearing their halos backways. Others are wearing their halos
>with the tags still attached to them. Others have discarded the
> white halos and are wearing gold ones instead they claim these are
> bashy".
>
>
>
> Most of the women have
>discarded their white robes and are wearing
> white shorts and
>"batty riders" claiming that they have pretty skin and
> want to show off
>their "bandylegs".
>
> Reggae music is blasted
>at all hours of night at their "bashments", disturbing all the other
>residents.
>
> Their cellular phones
>are worn on their robes and keeps ringing during prayers.
>
> Recently there was an
>altercation between Adam and one Jamaican who
> claims he was only
>"checking out" Eve.
>
> They have planted marijuana
>in the Garden of Eden since the soil
>is so fertile claiming "man
>and man haffi hustle".
>
> What should I do?!"
>
> The Lord said; "It
>wouldn't be fair to not let Jamaicans in heaven.
> They have just
>as much right to be here as other nationalities. Maybe
>we just don't know
>how to deal with them; maybe we are using the wrong
> approach. We need
>to check with someone who has more experience dealing with
> them. Let's call
>the Devil.
>
> The Devil answered the
>phone and said, "Hello, Lord. What can I do for you?"
>
> The Lord said, "We
>have a problem up here, and we'd like to talk to
> you about it." The
>Devil said, "Just a minute, I've got to put you on hold. "The
> Devil was gone five
>minutes.
>
> He came back to the phone
>and said, "OK Lord, I'm back. What's up?"
>
> The Lord said, "Well,
>I would like to talk to you about a problem up here."
>
> Once again the Devil excused
>himself and put the Lord on hold. This time he was gone for fifteen
>minutes. Finally, the Devil came back to the phone and said,
>
> "Lord, I am really
>sorry, but I can't talk to you right now. I have to go.
> These damn Jamaicans down
>here..... Yesterday they had air conditioning
> installed. Now they have
>just extinguished Hell's Fire, saying "man come
> to Hell fe 'chill'.



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mz_big_booty07
Unregistered

V THAT FUNNY I LIKE THAT ONE
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