My Two Poems

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My Two Poems
Topic Started: Apr 24 2008, 05:54 PM (202 Views)
Vegeta	Apr 24 2008, 05:54 PM Post #1
Kneel Before Your Prince! Posts: 4,309 Group: Admin Member #19 Joined: April 16, 2006	I don't usually ever write poetry but I had to write two for class. So here they are. The first I used the pantoum form, and the second the haiku form. Nothing Here There is nothing here for me anymore I've exhausted all resources I need to fly out that door Like a leaf blown by nature's forces I have exhausted all resources No longer can I stay Like a leaf blown by nature's forces I have to fly away I need to blow out that door There is nothing here for me anymore ---------------------------------------------------- My Former Dream My fingertips numb Vibrations from the curtain Breathe, ready to go The music kicks on The light hits me in the face Adrenaline rush Walk to the center Four hundred eyes on me now Laugh, make them angry Laugh, they hate me now 'Booos' ring out like wedding bells I am a success -Robert Dodrill-
	•Robert Dodrill on Myspace • Robert Dodrill on Youtube • Robert Dodrill on IMDB•


Cro	Apr 26 2008, 03:52 PM Post #2
Autobot Posts: 965 Group: Members Member #1,079 Joined: October 16, 2007	Not bad!
	Help Us Bring Back The RPG BOARD! My Forum Crocast @ Podomatic.com Podcast Forever Forums [Crocast Official Forum] Cro's Homepage


Thrash Til' Death	Apr 26 2008, 03:55 PM Post #3
"You will love Avatar! YOU WILL LOVE AVATAR!" Posts: 5,385 Group: Admin Member #3 Joined: April 9, 2006	Nice use of poetic form. Impresseive. I especially like the way you used the second stanza to reverse the significance of the "leaf blown by nature's forces" image. Less fond of the haiku, but that's probably 'cause I don't like the form as much.
	The Thrasher's Word: Sky Blue Video Review Thanks to Vegeta for the banner. "There's a reason backstory is backstory: it's backstory!" - Mark Kermode


Frankie	Apr 27 2008, 01:44 PM Post #4
Autobot Posts: 820 Group: Global Moderator Member #573 Joined: June 12, 2007	the 2nd one is pure genius! i prefer that kind of poetry, it's without rhymes but it creates a special atmosphere and it carries you inside it. i like that 'i am a success' in the end :lol: good job
	Omnia enim stolidi magis admirantur amantque, inversis quae sub verbis latitantia cernunt, veraque constituunt quae belle tangere possunt auris et lepido quae sunt fucata sonore. Indeed, the stupid most admire and love all that is scarcely discernible, hidden by abstruse words, and accept as true all things that sweetly caress the ear, and that are masked by a pleasant sound. --Titus Lucretius, De Rerum Natura, circa 80 B.C.--


Vegeta	May 3 2008, 06:40 PM Post #5
Kneel Before Your Prince! Posts: 4,309 Group: Admin Member #19 Joined: April 16, 2006	Thanks!!! So people were saying that I should add more too it so it's more obvious what the 2nd one was about. I really don't want to though. There is a specific thing that its about but I enjoyed seeing people trying to figure out what it was and interpret it in their own way. So most likely I'll leave it the way it is.
	•Robert Dodrill on Myspace • Robert Dodrill on Youtube • Robert Dodrill on IMDB•


Actor	May 5 2008, 04:49 AM Post #6
Super Saiyan Posts: 1,147 Group: Members Member #48 Joined: April 26, 2006	Awesome stuff Rob! I have to say you have some poetry talent there. Can I ask you something? I thought of borrowing your poetry for my course paper work in poetry subject? Would that be alright with you?


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