A Look at My NGE Screenplay....

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A Look at My NGE Screenplay....; Screenplay, EVA, 2009
Topic Started: Jun 1 2009, 01:03 PM (159 Views)
evanglion91	Jun 1 2009, 01:03 PM Post #1
Lillim Posts: 67 Group: Members Member #2,484 Joined: December 21, 2008	ACT I BIRTH (BA-SU) FADE IN: TITLE SCREEN. The screens flicker, but remain black. We see bright neon color letter’s appear slowly almost bending towards us, a bit like the opening of Alien... Superpose: Ne (OC) EN. The letters fade and flip around from the periodic symbolizes to a title... Superpose: NEON GENESIS EVANGELION. FADE TO: EXT. SPACE--MILKY-WAY,SOLAR SYSTEM, PRIMORDIAL PLANETS, (FIRST IMPACT) - NIGHT Our solar system as it would have been millennia’s ago. NARRATOR (V.O.) After the Earth was created, it was ordained to change. Theia, a planet about the size of Mars, bears down on the third planet from the sun - Earth before it became the blue-green alive body it is today. Earth has no moon. Theia approaches Earth at an angle to the axis of the solar system. EARTH: A barren, red and brown planet. NARRATOR (V.O.) Before man walked the Earth, how would he see the sky was chosen for him. Thea collides with Earth. Clouds of dust and debris from the impact spew into space and on to the surface of the barren wasteland. Theia drifts slowly away from Earth on a path out of the solar system. Three large chunks from Earth takes up orbit. NARRATOR (V.O.) And with that time new life was created. The Chucks start to make there own gravitational pull and then float away from the earth. NARRATOR (V.O.) And in the emptiness left behind fashioned his world. A Moon now circles Earth. NARRATOR The second impact would be a different kind. It would cleanse but not destroy. EARTH: Reshaped by the collision with Theia. The impact site. The primordial coastline. The ocean where a hunk of land has become what is now JAPAN. NARRATOR (V.O.) ...And so for nearly 4 billions years the earth grew... The camera flies down towards earth where we see groups of all different nationalities fighting in a grand battle while some do other things (dance, Build homes, Etc...) They are very early versions of the civilizations. NARRATOR (V.O.) They fought in War, created technologies, learned and grew...thousands, billions, millions of different group of humans... (pause) ...Of Flash and Blood. And they lived on fighting and living for thousands of years until...out of the sky it came. We see people in different countries (Mexico, America, Africa, Japan Etc...) looking up in to the sky in wonder as a shooting star or meteorite comes over their heads and spiraling earth. CUT TO: EXT. FRINGES OF EARTH’S ATMOSPHERE-OVER ANTARCTICA. The meteor hurls and spirals towards the earth thrusting through the atmosphere, heating up more and more towards the approaching white glistening snow-capes of Antarctica. comes Little pieces flying off here and there. Then slamming in to the surface of Antarctica, sending a blast of energy, snow and ice for miles. NARRATOR (V.O) ...And time stopped, the world stood still and everything changed. Life went on...oblivious to the going and comings events as such. But soon the world will have to look as the darkness falls and the sun rises over a new day, a changed world, a new world. A world in need of saving. But soon it would come come time when the world would be held in the hands of those who would be more lost then the world it self and the time would come for them to stand up and look over the changing lives...and shape the world for a new age! The camera moves over the smoldering rock of the snow imbibed Meteorite and fog appears. Moving up towards the gray sky the sounds of a hum being heard as the camera perches for the sound until... Now Moving through the frame are skids of helicopters, not that we could make them out as that though; rather, hard shapes that glide by at random through the fog, then a phantom in full view floats through the white clouds. FADE TO: TITLE CARD, OVER BLACK: ANTARCTICA SEPTEMBER 10, 2000 EXT. SKY OVER ANTARCTICA - DAY The camera moves over what is left of the snowy landscape of Antarctica. The entire continent is melted with only Big islands of ice left over. We the camera is moving towards one of the only left is still a big solid ice cap. The Camera then pans around to show Three black futuristic helicopters roaring over the sky of the arctic continent. Then the camera pans to the side of one of the helicopters and we see a red symbol of half a fig leaf with the motto "God’s In His Heaven... All’s Right With The World" forming the quarter circle on the bottom in the background with the word: NERV, Super-posed over the leaf. then the camera continues to move and goes in through a window inside of the front of the main helicopter... PAN TO: INT. HELICOPTER - DAY Inside the helicopter are Misato: a thirty-four year old women, tapping her fingers and looking around impatiently. Ritsuko: a forty-three year old women with blonde hair, reading a book. Commander Ikari: a forty-five year old man, involved in his own thoughts. Rei: a fourteen year old girl with pale skin, staring out into space seemingly distant from everything around her, and some Security. All of the team are dressed the same in light snow gear consisting of (a under-armer type shirt, a vest, sweat pants of a sort and goggles all of the attire are gray, white, amd black.) Misato sighs, stands up, and begins to walk towards the front of the helicopter. Rituko looks up at her curiously. She passes Ikari and Rei. Neither one noticing her. She makes her way to the cockpit coming to a door, which reads: "Cockpit.", in Japanese (a subtitle appears under in English). She knocks on the door. PILOT (O.S) Come in. She opens the door and walks in to the room where two pilots sit at the controls. The Pilots have to yell over the heavy sounds of the wings of the aircraft. there's more but I don't want to give it away. Edited by evanglion91, Jun 1 2009, 01:05 PM.



Noodles Loves You	Jun 1 2009, 03:06 PM Post #2
I Don't Love You I'm Just Passing The Time Posts: 6,803 Group: Global Moderator Member #4 Joined: April 9, 2006	Lessons: if you're writing a screenplay, don't make it half shooting script half script. otherwise it just looks amateurish. otherwise not bad
	I Want To Drink, Drink, Drink, Smoke, Fuck, Fight, I Want To Shout, Trip, Scream, I Want To Die! I Want To Be Arrested, I Want To Be Molested, And I've Damaged My Brain, Next Weekend Let's Do It Again! Also I don't like many of you, and take great joy out of punishing anyone who's a douchebag. Keep that in mind.


evanglion91	Jun 1 2009, 04:20 PM Post #3
Lillim Posts: 67 Group: Members Member #2,484 Joined: December 21, 2008	Thanks. you would go see this film?



Noodles Loves You	Jun 1 2009, 04:45 PM Post #4
I Don't Love You I'm Just Passing The Time Posts: 6,803 Group: Global Moderator Member #4 Joined: April 9, 2006	No, I'm a pretty pretentious filmgoer, and hate evangelion. That and it needs something more
	I Want To Drink, Drink, Drink, Smoke, Fuck, Fight, I Want To Shout, Trip, Scream, I Want To Die! I Want To Be Arrested, I Want To Be Molested, And I've Damaged My Brain, Next Weekend Let's Do It Again! Also I don't like many of you, and take great joy out of punishing anyone who's a douchebag. Keep that in mind.


Thrash Til' Death	Jun 1 2009, 05:44 PM Post #5
"You will love Avatar! YOU WILL LOVE AVATAR!" Posts: 5,385 Group: Admin Member #3 Joined: April 9, 2006	Fck me, he actually was writing something. And it's quite good! OK, couple of observations. First, the narration. I assume the narration is extradiegetic; that is, it's the voice of some omniscient observer, and not of a character in the film. If that's the case, scale the narration back a little, or even excise it entirely. Let the images do the talking. I understand the appeal of a narrator's voice, heralding in a vast expansive epic, but if it gets overused it occurs as indulgent. Don't use extradiegetic means to try to add drama and portent to images which don't merit it on their own terms. Other than that, some basic mistakes in the grammar and punctuation. You use "then" in the place of "than" a couple of times, some unnecessary apostrophes, some unnecessary capitalisations... oh, and by "super-posed" you mean "superimposed". if you want to submit this as a professional screenplay, you'll have to tidy it up. However, I do like the tone you're shooting for, retaining some of Evangelion's iconic flourishes like the NERV logo and staying true to the Eva timeline, but also placing the plot in a much more immediate context which would work as a blockbuster. I'd be interested to see where you go with it, even if I'm not entrely sold on it. Edited by Thrash Til' Death*, Jun 1 2009, 05:45 PM.
	The Thrasher's Word: Sky Blue Video Review Thanks to Vegeta for the banner. "There's a reason backstory is backstory: it's backstory!" - Mark Kermode


Noodles Loves You	Jun 1 2009, 05:48 PM Post #6
I Don't Love You I'm Just Passing The Time Posts: 6,803 Group: Global Moderator Member #4 Joined: April 9, 2006	Okay, you've gotten praise from two relatively cynical people.... let it go to your head
	I Want To Drink, Drink, Drink, Smoke, Fuck, Fight, I Want To Shout, Trip, Scream, I Want To Die! I Want To Be Arrested, I Want To Be Molested, And I've Damaged My Brain, Next Weekend Let's Do It Again! Also I don't like many of you, and take great joy out of punishing anyone who's a douchebag. Keep that in mind.


evanglion91	Jun 1 2009, 06:12 PM Post #7
Lillim Posts: 67 Group: Members Member #2,484 Joined: December 21, 2008	jerk. why are you being like this. I want to make these films and you are being mean. ______________________________________________________________ Fck me, he actually was writing something. And it's quite good! OK, couple of observations. First, the narration. I assume the narration is extradiegetic; that is, it's the voice of some omniscient observer, and not of a character in the film. If that's the case, scale the narration back a little, or even excise it entirely. Let the images do the talking. I understand the appeal of a narrator's voice, heralding in a vast expansive epic, but if it gets overused it occurs as indulgent. Don't use extradiegetic means to try to add drama and portent to images which don't merit it on their own terms. Other than that, some basic mistakes in the grammar and punctuation. You use "then" in the place of "than" a couple of times, some unnecessary apostrophes, some unnecessary capitalisations... oh, and by "super-posed" you mean "superimposed". if you want to submit this as a professional screenplay, you'll have to tidy it up. However, I do like the tone you're shooting for, retaining some of Evangelion's iconic flourishes like the NERV logo and staying true to the Eva timeline, but also placing the plot in a much more immediate context which would work as a blockbuster. I'd be interested to see where you go with it, even if I'm not entrely sold on it. Do you want to IM about the films learn what I have planned and maybe join the film? Edited by evanglion91*, Jun 1 2009, 06:13 PM.


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