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What happened?
Topic Started: Jul 2 2013, 02:29 AM (276 Views)
Mike Cheese
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Green Horn
'Elexis Massage Parlour' is one of the classier joints in southern Texas. This is not a 'happy ending' sort of place, it's an actual legit company that specialises in muscle relief. The owner of the company Sally Puknic once worked as head masseuse back in the UCW-era version of NNCR. She had gotten the NNCR gig from making a great impression on owner Steve Corman... She was giving happy endings back in those days and she put a smile on sleazy scumbags face (the dirty bastard, I won't even type here what she wanted him to do).

These days though, she's married, has two children, and has just reached the grand old age of 35. She's happy to own a respectable business with the NNCR money she saved, and the biggest plus is that she doesn't have to rub sweat ridden dudes down anymore (unless her husband gets lucky). Nope, she is sitting at reception, greeting customers, and basically living a normal life... Well normal compared to the wacky cartoon world of wrestling... She still shudders at the memories of Andy Grunge asking her to rub lotion on his athletes foot.

She had one good friend though during her time in NNCR, the one gentleman who stood up for her when wrestlers such as Matters or Raboin would demand that little extra... His name was Jason Violent. He never worked for NNCR, and he never took advantage of Sally. But he did tell her that she owed him a favour... If that 'favour' would've been a stolen weekend, then she would die happy, as she had just read Fifty Shades Of Grey... But no, what Jason Violent asked of her was much worse than a spanking. After she took his call, she sank a shot of whiskey and made the arrangements.

Which brings us to present day but one hour ago.

George Holmes is a mess, sweating and clearly still in a case if shock that only gives away to depression in the end. Same rules apply. He had just watched his best friend get buried, and the funeral was made into a mockery by that bastard Jason Violent. He was convinced that it wasn't fat filled foods that killed his friend... It was these selfish bastards that claimed to have been his friends. The Ryan Michaels, the Jason Vioent's, the Lee Stevens, hell even Parker Davis was his pal at some point... They all treated this lovely man's death as an angle to make worth of themselves. Holmes was even more saddened to learn that long time friend, Scott Slanley didn't pull strings with the network for a tribute show.

During the funeral someone had shoved a card in his hand. He didn't know who, he was to busy blubbering and missing his best friend. It was a ticket for a free massage at a place three miles out of town. Sex was the last thing on Holmes' mind, but the idea of getting rid of all thoses bumps of stress and sadness away. Plus it was an ex wrestling massage girl doing it. He pours half of his power shake down his throat and half down the sidewalk drain.

Holmes: I love you Billy-Blue, half for me and half for you.

He walks away, tears flowing. He hails a cab to Elexis.

Present Moment. Oh shit.

Sally: Mr Holmes, ah have not seen you in a Tamu year. Come over hear you big lug and tell Auntie Sally how life has been.

She embraces Holmes as he walks into the parlour.

Holmes: Not been so good actually, Sally... Lost my best friend... And people are making a moc... Moc... Mockery of his death.

Sally: look you just jump on into number 3 and I'll see you through this.

Holmes: Thanks Sally... I just miss him so much.

She hugs him with genuine feeling. Wipes away a tear and says:

Sally: Now shoo you, I don't want to be seen crying... It's bad for business.

Holmes walks towards room 3, then turns and asks:

Holmes: Hey Sally, he was a good guy, right?

Without a blink...

Sally: Honey, he was the best of a bad person. And I still love him.

Holmes blinks away a few years, blows her a kiss the opens room 3.

Sally's mobile begins to ring... She ignores it, then the work phone rings, she answers to Jason Violent's voice... It's clearly disturbing for Sally.

Sally: Are we done now?

Jason: ....

The caller has hung up.

Sally: God forgive me

Meanwhile.

George is enjoying his time away from the cartoon world. He is feeling the stress being rubbed away from his neck to his belly...but he can't stop crying for his fallen friend.

Holmes: I'm really sorry... It's part of the reason... I uh... Came here today. I lost a good friend and I'm... Hey did you just touch my butt?

Masseuse: Mmmm.

Holmes: No!

George Holmes has discovered that it none other than Mike Curly Louie Cheese rubbing him down.

Cheese: Let me kiss those tears away babes.

Holmes: Aaagh!!

Holmes runs out of the room.

Cheese looks down on himself.

Cheese: Why does this keep happening to me?! Guess I'll need to drill that glory hole into Bill Masters tombstone after all.

We cut to the front desk, where George Holmes in all his naked glory has just ran out of the building. All we hear are the sounds of children screaming.

Sally: Mr. Violent... Are we done?
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STOP BEING A SILLY GOOSE, GIVE MIKE CHEESE A TITLE SHOT, SUGAR.

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