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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 11 2013, 12:42 AM (201 Views) | |
| Parker Davis | Jul 11 2013, 12:42 AM Post #1 |
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Legend
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"Ianto! Ianto, you little wanker. You can't stay in bed all day you little cocksucker. The job centre shuts in three hours, if you aren't at least looking for work within that time I'll cut off you pathetic excuse of a dick and serve it with rabbit stew. You hear me you motherfucker? Unless you start paying rent soon you can go live in cardboard city with all the other tramps. You hear me you prick?!" Ianto Jenkins places his crusty pillow over his sighing face in a lost attempt to drown out his grandmothers raspy voice voice from outside his bedroom. Ianto: I hear you just fine, nan. I'm getting up now. "You'd better be, you arse!" his grandmother replies with venom. Ianto: Jesus Christ. Ianto removes the pillow from his face and looks down at his body... It is not a pretty sight, his once flat stomach has now bloated to the point that he can now only see the tips of his toes. He also had man-tits... Man-tits! He used to make fun of fat fucks with man-tits, now he's become one of them. When the local kids outside the corner shop yell abuse at him, a little part of Ianto Jenkins is forced to agree with them. Finally forcing himself out of bed, his once strong knees buckle under his weight. After staggering for a few seconds he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and Ianto Jenkins is not happy with the person staring back at him. Not so long ago he was able to pull off the grunge look, whilst not really the sort of person who could ever truly be called handsome, he did have a strange appeal to certain type of woman, sort of a 70's punk vibe that not many other people could execute quite as well... The sad lump staring back at him now looked haunted, the sort of sad case you might see drinking lighter fluid under a motorway bridge. His once faux hipster beard now looked like a collection of stray pubes. Ianto rubbed the front of his Cardiff City Football Y-fronts, more out of habit than any sort of sexual desire. Nothing, not even a twitch. J-Vo, that bastard, not content with taking all his money, his friendship with Jonny Richter, and his self worth... He had also robbed Ianto of his sex drive. It had been literally months since there had been life in the old boy. Not that he had any prospects of sex these days. Even the pathetic ring rats wouldn't look at him since he got blackballed from the industry. Opening a window, Ianto lights a cheap British cigarette. Three seconds pass... "Ianto, you had better not be smoking in there." his grandmothers vile cackling voice rasps. Ianto: Shit. Ianto flicks the cigerette into the neighbours garden. Ianto: No nanna, I ain't smoking. Hoping it won't be too long before his grandmother starts hitting the brandy and passes out. He knew he should've tried to crash at his sisters, but he had recently heard rumours that she was fucking that ballbag Mike Castle these days, and the idea of hearing The Castle make sex noises as he dicked Nikki was even less appealing than hearing his bitch of a nan moaning at him. Ianto pulls on the least filthy pair of jeans he own. They threaten to split, and he has to suck in his stomach in order to fit them around his expanding waist. 'Least I'll save a fortune on belts' Ianto chuckles to himself without any trace of humour. Pulling on a random T-shirt, Ianto is almost ready to leave... When he notices what shirt he is wearing. On the front behind the words 'FUCK XFW' is an image of De'Anton Maybon and Parker Davis, formally known as The Outcasts, with their arms around each other, and wearing goofy grins. It was an early addition, back before they had made a name or even won any gold as a team, however the idea of having their own merch for the first time had sent these once hungry young wrestlers over the moon. The man who once called himself Parker Davis looks up at the Heavens and groans. Ianto: I need a drink. End. This promo was written in front of a live studio audience. |
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9:54 AM Jul 11